"It's Just a Bad Period": What to Do When Your Doctor Doesn't Take You Seriously (and How to Explain It to the People Who Love You)
By Leila Martyn, Founder of MyOva
“It's just a bad period.”
You may have heard that from a GP, a relative, a manager or your own head at 2am with a hot water bottle. If you have typed “doctor not taking me seriously” into a search bar, you are in good company.
It took me years to get my PCOS diagnosis. For much of that time, I left appointments wondering whether I was exaggerating.
Here is what I know now. Pain that someone dismisses is still pain. A “normal” blood result does not mean nothing is going on. And you are not the first person to leave a consulting room doubting yourself.
The short answer: track your symptoms for two to three cycles, bring a one-page summary, use specific numbers, ask what your doctor would test or refer you for next, and ask for your concerns to be written in your notes. At home, explain the pattern as well as the feeling, and ask for specific support on specific days.
This post covers both: how to be heard in the appointment, and how to be understood at home.
In this article
- Why do so many people feel dismissed by their doctor?
- What can I do when my doctor is not taking me seriously?
- How do I explain period pain and PMDD to friends, family and partners?
- What if the emotional side feels too heavy?
- Where can I find support?
- Frequently asked questions
- Conclusion
Why do so many people feel dismissed by their doctor?
In short: Short appointments, narrow standard tests and under-recognition of conditions like PMDD all play a part. The numbers show how common the experience is.
Start with the numbers. In the government's 2021 call for evidence for the Women's Health Strategy for England, 84% of respondents said there were times when healthcare professionals had not listened to them. Nearly 100,000 people responded, and the strategy followed in 2022.
Endometriosis shows what this looks like over time. A report from Endometriosis UK and Cysters, based on a September 2025 survey of more than 3,000 people, found an average diagnosis delay of 9 years 4 months. That is up from 8 years in 2020. For ethnically diverse communities, the average is 11 years. About 1.5 million UK women live with the condition. Endometriosis UK's 2024 report found that 47% of people visited their GP ten or more times before diagnosis, and 70% went five or more times.
PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) is also easy to miss. A 2024 Oxford meta-analysis put community prevalence at about 1.6% under strict criteria, which is likely an underestimate. IAPMD estimates 5.5%, and reports that many people are first misdiagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder.
None of this is about individual GPs being careless. Appointments are short. Standard blood tests look at a limited set of markers, so a normal result answers one question, not every question. Conditions like PMDD need symptom tracking over two cycles to confirm, and few appointments have room for that. Your job is to make the picture easier to see.
Turmeric, ginger and boswellia with vitamin B6, which contributes to the regulation of hormonal activity. For women who want a simple daily routine to support cycle comfort and wellbeing. Speak to your GP or pharmacist first if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, taking medication or managing a diagnosed condition.
What can I do when my doctor is not taking me seriously?
In short: Give your GP a clear record: tracked symptoms, a one-page summary, specific language and a question that moves things forward.
You cannot control how long an appointment lasts. You can change what lands on the desk. These eight steps give your GP a clear picture and give you a record.
Step 1: Track for two to three cycles
Note down:
- Timing: dates and cycle day
- Pain: a score out of 10, and where you feel it
- Bleeding: light, medium or heavy, clots, how often you change products
- Mood: low mood, anxiety, irritability, rage, tearfulness
- Impact: what it stopped you doing (work, exercise, sleep, plans)
| Date | Cycle day | Bleeding | Pain /10 | Mood | What it stopped me doing |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
A phone note works. The prep sheet below works too. Tracking matters especially for PMDD, because a confirmed diagnosis needs symptom ratings across two cycles.
Step 2: Bring a one-page summary
Hand it over at the start. Include your main symptoms, when they began, the pattern across your cycle, how they affect daily life, what you have already tried and your questions. A GP can scan a page faster than they can absorb a long story.
Get the free Doctor Appointment Prep Sheet. Enter your email below and we will send it straight to your inbox.
Step 3: Use clear, specific language
Numbers, dates and effects are hard to wave away.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| “It's really bad.” | “Pain of 8 out of 10 on days 1 and 2.” |
| “I always feel awful.” | “Low mood and anxiety for five days before each period, across three cycles.” |
| “It affects everything.” | “I have missed work three times in four months.” |
| “Can you fix it?” | “What would you test or refer me for next?” |
Step 4: Ask what comes next
Try: “If it isn't X, what would you test or refer me for next?” It keeps the conversation moving instead of ending it.
Step 5: Ask for it to be written down
Ask your GP to record your concerns and their response in your notes. Records follow you to the next GP and into any referral.
Step 6: Know your options
- Ask to see another GP in the same practice, or register with a different practice.
- Ask for a second opinion. The NHS says you have no legal right to one, but a healthcare professional will rarely refuse to refer you.
- Ask about a referral to NHS gynaecology or another specialist route, and what the usual waiting time is.
Step 7: Bring someone with you
A second person remembers what was said, and can say “she's described this to me for months” when you freeze.
Step 8: Report urgent changes promptly
Severe pain, very heavy bleeding or a sudden change in your symptoms should not wait for your tracker to fill up. Contact your GP, or NHS 111 if you cannot get an appointment.
This section is about process, not diagnosis. Your GP decides what tests and treatment suit you.
What to say
- “This has been happening for [X months] and it is affecting my work and sleep.”
- “My pain is [X] out of 10 on [days]. I have tracked [X] cycles and brought a summary.”
- “I'm not asking you to diagnose me today. I'm asking what we can rule in or out.”
- “If it isn't X, what would you test or refer me for next?”
- “Could you note in my records that I raised this and what we agreed?”
- “If this gets worse before we meet again, what should I do?”
If you are still working out what a diagnosis involves, our guide to how doctors diagnose PCOS explains the usual process. If you were offered the pill without much explanation, can the contraceptive pill control PCOS? covers the questions worth asking.
How do I explain period pain and PMDD to friends, family and partners?
In short: Explain the pattern, not just the feeling. Use an analogy, ask for one specific thing on specific days, and share a tracker if you have one.
Invisible conditions are hard to describe because nobody can see a pain score or a mood shift. People judge what they can see, and on day 10 of your cycle you may look and feel completely fine.
The cyclical pattern adds to the confusion. When symptoms arrive and leave on a schedule, people read it as personality instead of pattern. “You were fine last week” becomes evidence against you. A tracker helps here too, because a chart shows the pattern in a way words do not.
Emotional symptoms are often the hardest to explain. PMS, PMDD, premenstrual mood changes, anxiety, rage and low mood can look like a choice about how you behave. They follow a cycle, and that cycle is something you can show.
Four ways to explain it:
- The weather forecast. “Days 1 to 3 are stormy, so expect cancelled plans. Days 8 to 14 are clear. The week before my period is low pressure, and a short fuse in that week isn't about you.” Our guide to the luteal phase explains what happens in that second half of the cycle.
- The volume dial. “Everything gets louder in the week before my period: noise, tiredness, small irritations. I'm not angry with you. I'm turned all the way up.”
- The battery. “Most weeks I start at 100%. Before my period I start at 30%, so I have less to give.”
- The simple script. “My symptoms follow my cycle. In the days before and during my period, I'm in pain or my mood drops. It isn't a choice and it isn't about you. What helps is [X].”
Ask for specific support. Vague requests get vague answers. “On days 1 to 2, I need you to do the school run” works better than “I need more help.” Ask when you feel well, not mid-flare. Pick one concrete request with a day range.
Set boundaries without guilt. A boundary describes what you can do. It does not judge anyone else. “I can't host this weekend” is a full sentence, and you can repeat it calmly. Cancelling when your body is struggling is not failing. Guilt is common, and it does not mean you are doing something wrong.
Ashwagandha, chamomile and L-theanine with vitamin B6, which contributes to normal psychological function and the reduction of tiredness and fatigue. For women whose mood and energy dip at certain points in the month. Speak to your GP or pharmacist first if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, taking medication (including antidepressants or hormonal treatments) or managing a diagnosed condition.
A note for partners and family
If someone has shared this with you, thank you for reading it. They are not exaggerating, and they are not asking you to fix it. Ask what the next few days look like for them, then believe the answer. Offer one practical thing, such as a meal, a lift or some quiet. Skip comparisons with your own periods and skip “but you were fine yesterday.” If they say they are struggling emotionally, listen, and encourage them to speak to their GP. Our post on hormonal anxiety may help you understand what they are describing.
What if the emotional side feels too heavy?
In short: PMDD can involve severe low mood and suicidal thoughts. If that is you, tell your GP, and use Samaritans (116 123) if you need to talk now.
PMDD can involve severe low mood and, for some people, suicidal thoughts. In one study of 110 women with confirmed PMDD, 39% reported current suicidal thoughts in the late luteal phase, the days before a period. The women were seeking treatment, so the figure does not describe everyone with PMDD. It does show how heavy this can get.
If that sounds familiar, you are not weak and you are not alone. It is worth telling someone. Speak to your GP and explain that your mood changes follow your cycle.
If you need to talk to someone now, Samaritans are free, 24 hours a day, on 116 123. IAPMD offers PMDD-specific support. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
Where can I find support?
- Endometriosis UK: information and support groups for endometriosis
- Verity: the UK PCOS charity, with peer support
- IAPMD: the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders
- NHS 111 or your GP: for urgent changes in symptoms or help finding care
- Samaritans: 116 123, free, 24/7
Looking for people who understand? Our guide to PCOS support groups lists places to start. If you are unsure whether symptoms point to PCOS or endometriosis, PCOS vs endometriosis sets out the differences.
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Join our mailing list →Frequently asked questions
What should I do if my GP dismisses my period pain?
Track your symptoms for two to three cycles, bring a one-page summary, and ask what they would test or refer you for next. Ask for your concerns to be noted in your records. You can also ask to see another GP or request a referral.
How do I ask for a second opinion on the NHS?
Ask your GP to refer you to another GP, or back to a specialist if you have already seen one. The NHS says there is no legal right to a second opinion, but a healthcare professional will rarely refuse. Explain why you would like one.
How can I explain PMDD to my partner?
Use a pattern, not a feeling. Share a tracker that shows when symptoms arrive and ease, and use an analogy like the weather forecast. Then ask for one specific thing on specific days.
How long does an endometriosis diagnosis take in the UK?
The average is 9 years 4 months, according to Endometriosis UK and Cysters (2025 survey). For ethnically diverse communities it is 11 years. If you think something is wrong, bring tracked symptoms to your GP and ask what comes next.
Can PMDD be mistaken for depression or anxiety?
IAPMD reports that many people with PMDD are first given another diagnosis, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder. Tracking symptoms across two cycles shows whether they follow your cycle. Take that record to your GP.
Conclusion
If a doctor has told you it's just a bad period, that is one opinion. It does not cancel out your pain, your tracker or your lived experience. Being heard sometimes takes preparation, persistence and one person who believes you.
Your next step is small: download the prep sheet, start tracking, and take it to your next appointment. You're not imagining it.
Walk into your next appointment prepared
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Further reading
- How Is PCOS Diagnosed? The Rotterdam Criteria Explained
- Hormonal Anxiety: Why It Happens and What Actually Helps
- Can the Contraceptive Pill Control PCOS? What You Need to Know
- Luteal Phase: 7 Signs, Symptoms and What Actually Helps
- PCOS vs Endometriosis: What's the Difference?
References
- Department of Health and Social Care. Women's Health Strategy for England, 2022.
- Department of Health and Social Care. Results of the 'Women's Health: Let's talk about it' survey, call for evidence, 2021.
- Endometriosis UK. The State of Endometriosis Care in the UK, survey September to October 2025, with Cysters.
- Endometriosis UK. “Dismissed, ignored and belittled”: the long road to endometriosis diagnosis in the UK, March 2024.
- Reilly TJ et al. The prevalence of premenstrual dysphoric disorder: systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 2024;349:534-540.
- International Association for Premenstrual Disorders. PMDD facts and figures.
- Wikman A et al. Prevalence and correlates of current suicidal ideation in women with premenstrual dysphoric disorder. BMC Women's Health, February 2022;22:35.
- NHS. How do I get a second opinion?
This post is for information only and isn't medical advice. If you have concerns about your health, speak to a GP or qualified healthcare professional. Food supplements should not be used as a substitute for a varied, balanced diet and healthy lifestyle.
About the author
Leila Martyn is the founder of MyOva. She built MyOva for women who have been told “it's just your hormones” and sent away without answers. Her goal is for every woman to feel informed about her own cycle and confident asking for the care she needs.
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References